Wednesday, June 28, 2006

The goalie has got football pie all over his shirt

A glance at the Metro this morning elicited the following three discoveries:
  1. Rio Ferdinand is quoted as saying he will consider England's World Cup campaign a failure if we do not reach the final.
  2. Frank Lampard is quoted as saying he will consider England's World Cup campaign a failure if we do not beat Portugal.
  3. Owen Hargreaves is quoted as having told his fellow player's that they are responsible for England's World Cup fate.
I can only conceive of two possibilities:

a) they are trying to line-up post-playing careers by advertising to the TV companies that with their talent for stating the obvious they are ideally suited for the profession of footbal commentating.
b) these 'facts' (3 being an actual fact, 1 & 2 being steps in the right direction) have really just occurred to the players - which I guess this would explain a lot.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Why 4th July is so worth celebrating

I invite you to share your moral outrage at this heinous filth by a pair of occidental philistines: The nihilism of soccer.

Oh, and how anyone can come out with such rubbish when they believe that FOOTBALL is something which involves the conjunction of HANDS with a PROLATE SPHEROID is beyond me.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

I can't answer - I can't answer that

So I was passing through the Winter Gardens on my lunch break and there was a bevy of young schoolchildren singing, dancing and percussing their way through some songs, accompanied by some adult musicians. A sign next to them introduced the event as a "Magic Carpet Ride" featuring pupils from various South Yorkshire schools, with "Richard Barnard, Zoe Palmer, Luke Goss and Rikki Thomas Martinez.

LUKE GOSS?! It couldn't be, could it?

Actually no, but it had me wondering for a while.

Monday, June 19, 2006

Titanic: the Sequel

Check out the trailer here.

Some prophetic words from the 3rd Earl Russell

Bertrand Russell, who was far from being the religious type, finished the penultimate chapter of his History of Western Philosophy with the following words:

...I feel a grave danger, the danger of what might be called cosmic impiety. The concept of 'truth' as something dependent upon facts largely outside human control has been one of the ways in which philosophy hitherto has inculcated the necessary element of humility. When this check upon pride is removed, a further step is taken on the road towards a certain kind of madness - the intoxication of power which invaded philosophy with Fichte, and to which modern men, whether philosophers or not, are prone. I am persuaded that this intoxication is the greatest danger of our time, and that any philosophy which, however unintentionally, contributes to it is increasing the danger of vast social disaster.

Although I disagree with him about where humanity's impiety is directed, he seems to have predicted the late 20th and early 21st centuries pretty well.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

...the most tip top, top cat

A brilliant article on a judge who has ordered that a cat named "Meow, Baroness Penelope Cat of Nash DCB" must return a domain name similar to the product of a large bank: Link

However, Mr Hill continued, "it is equally well-known that the common cat, whose scientific name is Felis domesticus, cannot speak or read or write… Therefore, either the respondent is a different species of cat, such as the one that stars in the motion picture Cat From Outer Space, or the respondent's assertion regarding its being a cat is incorrect."

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

This has to be heard to be believed...

I've always thought that what the world has been missing is some Cherokee gospel yodelling. But it turns out I've been wrong.